


Liability

by 80svelvet



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood Trauma, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Joyce is trying her best, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, bi lucas, mike is struggling too !!, pan mike, past trauma, sorry very bad, supportive robin at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:54:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28578558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/80svelvet/pseuds/80svelvet
Summary: Will Byers was a mess. A sad gay mess.
Relationships: Past Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler - Relationship, Will Byers/Lucas Sinclair, Will Byers/Mike Wheeler, Will Byers/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 35





	1. Ryan - the high school crush

**Author's Note:**

> any feedback is apreciated

Will Byers was always an outsider, even before he became “Zombie Boy” there was always something off. Among his bullies, his classmates, even his friends, he always felt like he didn’t belong. Moving didn’t help either, the people at the other school picked up on it right away and decided to pick up where Hawkins left off. The bullying wasn’t as bad or as violent, but it felt just as aggressive, all the staring the whispering was arguably worse, he’d rather have the guys punch him in the face once a month than look at him like that every day.

So far, two months into the school year, he’d only made one friend. Well kind of a friend. He met the guy in English class, he was also new, he walked in late first day and it Will felt like he was stuck in a romcom for a second. The guy was beautiful, some days it was easier to ignore than others, he couldn’t help but stare a little, he was just so pretty. His name was Ryan. They bonded over their love of art, Will’s art was more… well nerdy, often fan art of whatever he was obsessed with at the moment, but Ryan’s usually consisted of beautiful sceneries and flowers. Made him slightly jealous that he was so good.

Will and Ryan didn’t hang out often, Will was too panicked to come up to him at school, when he was surrounded by his actual friends, usually resorting to asking to hang out during the weekend if he managed to catch him on his way home.

He ate alone when he didn’t eat at home, he heated up whichever leftovers he picked out of the fridge that morning and sat in comfortable silence. Some of the nerdier guys from his class tried to be friends earlier on in the school year but they soon realised that Will didn’t want to be friends with guys who thought making racist “jokes” was the peak of comedy.

He missed Hawkins sometimes, his phone calls with Lucas lasted way too long, it was still hard to say goodbye even if he should be used to it by now. Mike’s didn’t last as long, the other boy usually talked him into getting El on the phone a few minutes after they started talking. Will didn’t like thinking about it too much, it hurt a little, but he knew Mike probably didn’t mean anything by it.

* * *

It was all very boring and mundane.

Until it wasn’t.

* * *

One day Ryan asked for Will to come over to his house, like usual. But as soon as he got there something felt different.

The house was empty, it was just him and Ryan sitting on his bed. Usually there was a little brother or a little sister wandering around, walking in to ask for something or to get attention for a bit but now it was just them. The sun was going down as they were getting ready to leave, Ryan said they were getting pizza for dinner then getting back, he wanted to show Will his vinyl collection.

“Hey if don’t mind I wanted to eat at the park tonight, you know, get the pizza to go and like, stargaze or something?” The other boy was clearly nervous, pulling on his sleeves and emphasising what he said like it was a life or death question.

“Sure, I think that would be fun.” He knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up, the guy was just probably having a bad day and was just extra anxious or something. Nothing was going to happen, Ryan didn’t like guys and even if he did, he wouldn’t make a move on him in a pubic park, it was too risky. But maybe it was exciting to feel wanted.

The boys did exactly what Ryan suggested. It was a warm night for the winter, so it wasn’t too uncomfortable to be walking around. They sat on a bench for two whole hours, they ate, they talked about school, maybe gossiped a little but don’t all loners do that once in a while. It was fun, Will didn’t expect it to go this well but he really did have fun, more than he’d had since he left home.

They walked back to his house, giggling like two idiots, bumping into each other, probably looking drunk as hell to anyone walking past them but he didn’t care. They hung out in his room for a bit. The air was almost heavy, he wasn’t even sure why, it was just like usual, but everything felt tense the second they were home alone again.

Will sat on the bed, looking through a small notebook the other teen handed him, full of gorgeous drawings of delicate flours, he didn’t recognise any, but Ryan seemed to know all about pretty flowers. On the later pages the theme changed to drawings of a blue-eyed boy, various styles and poses of what seemed to be the same person. It seemed self-centred to assume the drawings were of himself, but he really wanted them to be. All his friends seemed to have fallen into these cute little romances and he would never admit it, especially not to Mike after his outburst last year, but he really really wanted it to happen to him.

Ryan turned around from whatever he was doing on his desk, he walked over to the bed, looking over the other teen’s shoulder at his own art. He reached down and pointed at the drawing of the boy, his chest leaning against Will’s back in a way that made him feel mushy inside.

In a nervous voice he finally said what Will wanted him to say the whole time.

“I-It’s you”

Blue eyes looked up at him.

“Oh.”

“Is that a bad thing? Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just, like your face, I guess.”

“No it isn’t, I love them”

Their faces got closer as Ryan sat next to him on his own bed.

“Thank you. You’re really cute”

Will’s chest felt burning hot, the heat rising to his cheeks with every compliment. He tried to reply but it felt like his brain was melting and Ryan seemed to think much faster than he did.

He brought his face even closer, their cold noses touching, making Will immediately looked down, avoiding the other’s gaze.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Uh.”

He couldn’t keep track of his own thoughts. He’d never done it before, what if he had bad breath? What if he was bad at this? What their teeth clashed against each other in that gross uncomfortable way? He didn’t know how to kiss back, could he even do it right? Should he do it? Or was it better to spare himself the embarrassment and not do it?

He felt his breath get raggedy and rushed as if he had already started running away from Ryan. He couldn’t do it. He jumped up from the bed and regret hit him like a ton of bricks as soon as he moved away.

“I’m sorry.” He ran around the room grabbing all his thing, his jacket, his keys, trying to be clam enough to not forget anything and never have to come back here again. He looked at the boy again, hurt clear on his face, and ran out of the room and out of his house.

* * *

Needless to say, his friendship with Ryan ended there, the other teen avoided him like a disease from that day on. Will felt terrible, he probably thought he would get outed soon and that Will would make him the school’s new target.

The guilt ate at him.

And that was the first of Will’s horrible very bad gay experiences.


	2. Ethan- the guy from the ice-cream shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its one am my brain is broken pls tell me about any typos

The first summer of high school was maybe the best time he had had in recent memory, he got to go back to Hawkins and spend two whole months living like he was back in middle school, but with a lot less gross slimy monsters that looked like what a pet would throw up after a rough day. He was free to bike around with his buddies, drag them to the arcade and away from their new way cooler high school friends.

The awkwardness of his dating problems, or the lack of them, was still very much present. It was maybe worse since El and Mike broke up over the phone sometime in January. If it was possible to have a midlife crisis in high school, he was sure Mike was going through one because his behaviour was so different from what he remembered. Lucas and Max also broke up, but they had done that so many times already that it didn’t really mess with the group dynamic at all. They got back together in June, after Lucas pulled off some bug romantic gesture, Mike was still moping around despite having someone else (not that he would share anything about her, he refused to tell Will about this girl, which was strange coming from him) Will didn’t really know what happened with anyone and he honestly didn’t care. He was more concerned with his maybe fling with the boy that worked at the ice-cream shop.

The shop had recently opened in the same street his mom’s old job used to be, the business was back to downtown since summer of 84 happened and the mall sort of closed down. He went there with Mike the day he arrived and was almost immediately entranced by this guy.

Sometimes he would go alone late in the day and try to look as lonely as possible, you know, sit in one of the corner tables, eating his ice cream slowly, looking out the window dramatically like he was in a really sad romantic movie. He brough his sketchbook along too sometimes, if looking depressed wasn’t working maybe he could get his attention by looking really cool and artsy. Maybe do that thing that seems extremely creepy unless you’re very attractive and draw him and give him the drawing.

His name was Ethan. He never asked he just read his name tag once and never forgot it. His hair was long and shaggy, all messy and curly, made Will wonder what he dressed like outside of work. He looked like he was into skating, maybe into art like Will. It did seem like he had a type and this guy looked like it.

The trying to look interesting plane didn’t seem to work, he didn’t even look at him most days, sometimes he waved when he left the shop but that was about it. So, Will decided to finally do something for once, and try to start a conversation when they were alone, he had a lot of time, nobody else was hanging out drawing in ice-cream shops at 8pm.

It was July 12th when he finally did it, after a long day hanging out at Lucas’ house with the whole party (except Mike, apparently he was out with his new girlfriend that day, Will wasn’t sure, it felt like nobody told him things anymore), he walked with Lucas back to his house and walked to his new favourite drawing spot.

He planned to try to talk to him after asking for the usual thing he got, which was a very boring vanilla and chocolate cone but it was less stressful for him to just get the same thing over and over instead of trying something new and fumble the words.

He stood in the doorway for way too long, as soon as he walked in his first instinct was to hold his breath. It was stupid and he probably looked insane, anxiety weighed heavy on his chest, holding his breath at least distracted him from the pressure. The shop was empty apart from him, Ethan and his co-worker, a girl named Emily he knew from school. The empty room made his sudden, jumpy movements stand out even more, as he moved quickly to the front of the counter, standing on his tiptoes, awkwardly pulling himself up with his elbows to try and seem casual. It wasn’t working.

“Uh- can I get t-the vanilla and chocolate I get all the time, thank you.”

For as little as he knew about the guy, he thought Ethan was at least always nice to him even if he looked like he was having a panic attack just thinking about ordering ice-cream. Will really didn’t like it when people pointed out his more anxious behaviour, made him feel watched.

His smile was kind and comforting. Felt warm.

“Of course! What’s your name by the way? Me and Emily here have been trying to figure out which one of us you’re here to draw.” He chuckled, making her get closer to them to get in on the gossip.

The question was awkward but it’s not like he wasn’t expecting it, he was, he was aware of how weird it was, and he knew they were going to pick up on it sometime.

“We have a bet, 5 bucks, so please think carefully about what you’re gonna say vanilla guy I’m counting on you here!”

In any other context, with any other person, this conversation would feel like when mean girls in high school movies talk to the nerds, when they talk down to them like they’re dogs and not people of their own. But from Ethan it seemed sincere, he didn’t feel mocked.

“I’m Will.”

He couldn’t help but smile, most days he felt invisible to anyone that he didn’t already know, like he was a background character in everyone else’s lives, that one guy in a sitcom whose friends with the group but also not really in it, he’s just there for one joke every three episodes.

“And uh- I’m not really drawing any of you it’s most just nerd stuff.”

“Dammit! Not even once vanilla guy Will?” He got on top of the stool on the other side of the counter and jumped over it, now standing next to Will. He noticed he was shorter than he thought he was, maybe it was just higher on the other side. “Not even once c’mon. Look at this face!”

He put his hair behind his ears, both making himself look goofier with large ears poking out from underneath his curls but also cuter, since Will finally got to see his whole face without the shag in the way.

Emily was having a blast, laughing way too much at the guy’s banter. She handed him his ice-cream and jumped on the counter, taking a seat.

She perked up when she noticed his backpack,

“Hey, do you have you stuff here? You should just draw him now, so he’ll shut up about it.”

Will thought about it for a second, considering if he wanted to spend the next hour or so in a small space being watched by two strangers but he ended up nodding anyways.

“OH! THAT’S SO GREAT! Will please.”

He was confused by why and how this guy was treating him like they’ve known eachother for years, but he wasn’t going to complain. He felt more included now that he had with the guys at Lucas’ today, at least they seemed interested in him.

“F-fine”

After a bit of messing around from the other kids, trying to find a good, well lit spot for Will and Ethan to sit with eachother while the girl ran the shop they settled on the opposite corner of the place from where Will usually sits.

He walked to his place, took off the backpack and rested it on of the legs of the white sleek table. He kneeled on the floor for a few minutes going through the mess that had gathered in there since he’d started using it here in Hawkins again, there were a bunch of pencils, not in any bag or pencil case, just in the backpack, a few sticks and rocks he collected with the intention of painting but didn’t get around to actually doing it and wrappers of various snacks he’d had while biking in the last few weeks. He managed to find what he needed and sat down, Ethan right in front of him, ready for his portrait.

The silence and the almost eye contact wasn’t as weird as the young artist thought it would be, yes it was a little uncomfortable when he accidentally looked straight into the guys eyes while drawing him but Ethan seemed to focused on the paper itself that it didn’t matter too much. The small talk was okay, they got to know each other a bit. Ethan told him his dad was Indian and his mom was Canadian, and he’d moved here around 4 months ago and started working right away.

The quiet was good, Will decided. He got to focus on everything that made Ethan beautiful. His eyes were a pretty dark brown Will was a little jealous of, with eyelashes thicker than he’d seen on any boy, and his eyebrows were the right amount of messy and structured to make him look like a model. His face was rather long and narrow, his nose looked smaller from the front but when he looked to the side it revealed a nose that looked like the ones in ancient Greek statues, so he insisted to drawing his profile.

Time flew by without him really noticing, maybe whole hour had gone by, but Will had no idea, he was just focused on the beautiful boy in front of him. By then Emily started closing up the shop since they didn’t do weeknights.

From then on, he completely lost track of time, he had no idea how long that drawing took or how long he was there, but he just knew he finished it by the time it was dark outside.

He handed the other boy the drawing before heading out, but he grabbed his hand, looking around for Emily and making sure she was still in the back before getting closer and kissing him on the cheek,

“Thank you, vanilla guy that was really cool of you.”

His eyes reflected the moonlight in a way only eyes that brown could, and Will lost it, his brain was once again, broken by a stupid cute boy.

“Please come back soon, I wanna get to know you better,”

Will didn’t reply, muttering a goodbye before heading home.

* * *

Will really wished he had, he wished he had gone back the next day, he wished he’d said something, like he wished he’d kissed Ryan. But his fathers voice echoing in the back of his head, calling him every slur in the book, still had so much more power over him than any pretty boy could.


	3. Lucas- your childhood friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting up the Lucas stuff hehe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i referenced the queen's gambit shut up

Sophomore year was boring. The school year dragged on and on seeming practically never ending, from start to end no event stood out, there was absolutely nothing important that happened. He was extremely lonely, summer didn’t make it easier either, money troubles made them unable to go back to Hawkins like they had last year. And as left out as he felt around the party lately, he still wanted to be near them so badly.

Lucas comforted him most days, they started talking more often than the previous year as Will got and more miserable as the months went by. He was becoming dependant on the boy and he couldn’t tell if was bad or good for his mental health. On one hand, he needed to talk to someone or his brain would literally explode some day with all the shit he was holding in but ,on the other hand, getting so attached to someone you can’t even see in person anymore seemed like a whole other type of pathetic.

Wednesday, June 10th, 1986 was just like any other day that summer. Jonathan left for work earlier, and so did his mom, having not left anything for Will to eat later, after they had a fight about how he didn’t do anything around the house she stopped helping him with lunch, letting him figure it out on his own and he honestly couldn’t complain too much. At fist cooking was boring, and bad, and burnt, but after two weeks of having to do it everyday he finally figured out some things that were safe for him to make and he was really enjoying himself, it was so relaxing to just sit around in the kitchen by himself.

He was struggling to come up with something to have today, he thought about it for a bit while he was reading a new comic he got on Monday and ended up settling on mac and cheese since he’d seen his mom make it so many times he could probably do it blindfolded.

He lazily got to making it and ate it staring at a wall, as usual. He was so so so so bored.

His phone rang when he was washing the dishes, he hastily wiped his hands on a rag that was laying around his counter and went to pick it up.

“Hello, it’s Will Byers speaking.”

“Will, why do you answer the phone like you work at a bank?” Lucas harmonious voice came trough the phone and so did his cute, perfect laugh.

“Lucas, we talk about this every time, I get scared it might be that 1% of calls we get that aren’t you calling me to tell me some dumb shit again. “The other boy laughed again and Will thought about how he probably never get tired of hearing it. “What is it today?”

“Uh- me and Max broke up again, and I feel like this might actually be the last time it happens.” Will noted how he didn’t really seem that bothered by this “Don’t worry, I’m doing fine I just wanted to update you on what’s been going on I guess.”

“Well, maybe its for the best honestly, you’ve broken up probably five times now.”

“Seven actually.”

Will couldn’t help but chuckle at the correction.

“Yeah that’s just proving my point. You clearly love Max very much, but I don’t think that’s romantic love, at least not anymore.” Lucas hummed in agreement “You had a great run, it’s time to let it go.”

“I’ve been doing some thinking and, uh, I’m not completely ready to talk about it, but I figured some stuff out.” He cleared his throat “You’ll be the first to know about it when I’m ready DO NOT WORRY buddy.”

Lucas told him about Mike getting in a fight with some guy, Dustin joining the chess club after reading some book that apparently made him love chess out of nowhere and some other things Will didn’t really follow all that well since he was more focused on wondering why Mike is fighting random grown men on the street. He also just enjoyed hearing Lucas’ voice every day, it was a reminder that he wasn’t totally alone yet.

“OH, AND then Mike came over and was like bleeding a shit ton from his nose and wouldn’t tell me why. He’s been acting so fucking weird lately it’s honestly scary.”

“Is he like, just being secretive or it is like, aggressive?”

“Both I guess? He won’t tell me anything, all I know is that he’s been hanging out with Carrie and her stoner friends and when he comes back, he just acts fucking weird. It’s not like he’s high or anything I call tell he’s not, he’s just not talking and being all pissy over anything we say to him.

He keeps getting in fights and just being a dickhead. Will I love him, but I don’t want to go on much longer like this, holy shit. He was like this when El was gone but that went away over time, and, like, it wasn’t CONSTANT. I know he’s probably not doing great, but he won’t let me help I have no idea what the fuck to do.”

Will sat silently pondering what he could say to this sudden burst of anger from his friend, but he just settled on saying:

“You should keep trying, I think. He might get mean, I say that from personal experience with pissy Mike, but he’ll come around if he knows you still care.”

“He never told me what he said to you that one day you fought two summers ago, but I realised that after like a week he was trying a lot harder to be nice to everyone. Should I just like try to get him to insult me, so he feels bad?”

The incident, as he called it, being brough up hurt a little, it was still a bit of an open wound, but he seriously considered it, and it might be a good idea.

“Yeah, try to ask him about the good old days, ask him about the party and maybe biking and stuff and he’ll get angry for pointing out how he’s changed.”

“Thank you, my dear expert on fighting Mike.”

“No problem, my apprentice”

“I think I have to get going, I promised Dustin I’d help him fix his bike something’s wrong with it I don’t know what.”

“Wait you didn’t tell me”

Lucas paused.

“Tell you what?”

“Who broke up with who this time, I need it for my tally.”

The boy boy chuckled, the tally was taped on Will's wall he started it last year and brough it home, he thought he would need it again and he was right. 

“Oh, I did.”

“So, Max six, Lucas one, is that right?”

“Yup”

“Nice doing business with you sir.”

The conversation dragged on for a few more minutes since Lucas really wanted to tell him about how fucked Dustin’s bike was but they ended up actually saying goodbye pretty soon.

He got back to his comic with a warm feeling in his chest.


	4. Reggie- the guy you got high with at prom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another guy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise ill actually get to the will/mike will/lucas soon, we're getting there

Two summers with no Hawkins were two summers of Will being miserable, and two school years of mediocrity. Will used to a really great student, he was top of his class every single year, the school payed for school trips when his mother couldn’t, as a prize for all his hard work, he was simply an outstanding student. Senior year ruined it.

He thought that the pressure of this being his last year before he somehow made it into college (with no money, somehow) would not get to him. And it didn’t, for the first two months, but after that it all came crumbling down.

The year sped by, much like every year after he turned 14 seemed to be going by. More and more it felt like he wasn’t actually living and just getting through life lazily, dragging around his own useless corpse trying his best to blend in but also stand out enough to not be forgotten.

It was hard to balance, especially with his anxiety haunting his every move like a very lame ghost. He didn’t really want to be noticed, he wished people could pretend he wasn’t there sometimes. But being forgotten didn’t make him happy either, it sucked that nobody even knew who he was, or cared to ask. It sounds contradictory but he can’t help how he feels, he wants both so badly, his anxiety craves being alone, quiet, where nobody can perceive him or acknowledge his existence, but it also craves being liked, being unique and interesting, being loved mostly.

He knew his mother loved him. She was clear she did, she stopped being subtle about it after he went missing, telling him she did every change she could fit it into casual conversation. And he loved her too, so much.

But was still afraid of what she would say if he told her what he was. After all, she never made an effort to deny that she agreed with what his father thought of him. She would get upset about him saying it, calling him out and getting into fights that lasted way too long. But sometimes Will would catch her telling her neighbours and just random people about how Will was frail, weak, a _queer_.

She wasn’t hateful, she obviously didn’t wish him any harm, she loved him dearly, it was clear in her concern every time he arrived five minutes after his curfew, every time he was cold, every time he had a bruise he couldn’t explain immediately. He knew nothing horrible would happen, she would never kick him out, she would never hurt him or make him want to die more than he could make himself want it. He had the privilege of being able to say this, yet the fear weighted on him like nothing else ever could.

He never mentioned it, he never brought up the thinks he heard people say about him or how it affected him.

Will never purposefully ignored school dances, every time they came around, he was just busy, too tired or too lonely to go. Prom was a different story. He dreaded it. He never ever wanted to be in a room with that many strangers, with that many horny teenagers and annoying boys.

It was the day before the dance, and his opinion had yet to change. He wasn’t planning on going, or even planning on asking about it after it happened. He just was not thinking about it at all.

It was Brianna’s fault that he did.

Brianna was his lab partner, they didn’t talk much, only really communicating when they were doing a project but today, she seemed really talkative.

In one 90-minute class he learnt a lot about her, he learnt that she was dating some guy named Phil, who was apparently a really big deal in their school and she knew that he cheated on her over break, but she was still going with him to prom since they had already bought matching party clothes. Will listened to all of it carefully and tried his best to give coherent advice.

“Sorry for dumping that all on you Will, I’m just so tired of everything.”

“It’s okay Brianna, I know how you feel.”

“Anyways, are you going to prom?”

“No, not really my thing. Besides, nobody to go with.”

“Wait.” She dropped her pen and turned sideways to look at him dramatically. “You have to go with me and Phil.”

Dramatically, Will also turned sideways to look at her.

“What?!”

“Please! He’s bringing some guy beside he didn’t have date and you NEED to be there, I don’t want a third wheel, Will please.”

“I don’t even know him, how would I be any help?”

“I don’t know but, please, please. It’s prom, you’ll regret it if you don’t.”

He didn’t say yes right away, he said he would think about it and tell her tomorrow. But as soon as he got homes his fear of being forgotten hit him like a ton of bricks and he just knew he had to do it.

And that is how he got dragged into going to prom.

* * *

It was an extremely cold night. A storm was passing through their area that week, the nights were especially rough, every single day had been rainy and humid. At the time Phil got to his house it was pouring like a biblical scale flood was about to happen. El had left about an hour before for a pre-prom party with her friends, he hoped she was having fun since the first few months were especially though for his _sister._ She didn't fit in right away but he had hope was managing to be socialy active now.

Brianna and her boyfriend were sitting in the front and behind them sat a guy, who looked about two years older than him, with curly hair and large glasses framing his face. Will fumbled with his umbrella trying to get the rusty metal to let him finally close it, and once he managed it, he got in through the right side and sat next to the boy.

“Heyy Will, are you ready?” Brianna asks turning all the way around in her seat to look at him in the eyes.

“Uh- I think I am.”

She smiled, perfect white teeth showing, making her look like a barbie doll.

“I hope you are.”

She turned back around and put her seatbelt back on and her boyfriend started the car. Will tried to avoid looking to his side, afraid to make the other guy more uncomfortable than he already seemed.

They arrived soon after and as soon as they walked through the door, he lost sight of Phil and Brianna. The guy was still walking behind him though. So, he guessed he was stuck with him for the night.

He walked up to him and decided to try to make it less awkward.

“Hey.”

“Hi”

“So, what’s your name?” he followed him to a table, pushing through the mass of people that had gathered in from of the door.

“Reggie. You’re Will, or so I’ve heard.” As they sat down, he took some time to attempt to take in what this guy was wearing. He was wearing a puke green Hawaiian shirt, covered in ugly pink flowers, that honestly looked more like pink cabbages, paired with formal suit pains, a dress shirt and a black tie. Reggie walked away for a second, grabbing a drink from a nearby table, and it was only then that Will noticed his way too short pants, long pink socks and weird looking sneakers.

What an odd guy.

He walked back and sat down without saying anything and took a sip of his drink.

“Why are you dressed like shit?” the question seemed funnier to him than it did to Will, making him almost spit out his drink.

“Excuse you, it’s my best Hawaiian shirt.”

“Okay. But why are you wearing it now?”

“Suit jacket didn’t fit me.”

“Neither do the pants but that didn’t seem to stop you.”

Reggie laughed again.

“I thought you were gonna be really boring. Dude you look like a homeless victorian child I didn’t expect you to actually be funny.”

It was Will’s turn to laugh at a stupid joke.

They spent another hour going back and forth, absorbed in conversation. The longer it went on the more he boy reminded him of Mike. His Mike. Their noses have a similar shape, their hair was the same colour, but Reggie’s was curlier. They looked like they could be related, and this shouldn’t be appealing to Will, but it was, it was comforting he felt so familiar.

“Will. I am so bored. Do you wanna go see my special place?”

“I’m scared of what that could be, but sure”

Reggie practically jumped out of his seat, grabbing Will by his wrist and dragging him trough the crowd and out of the gym. They walked past an obscene amount of teenagers making out as Reggie led him into the side of the school where students were prohibited from being in, they walked past the teachers’ lounge, the principals office and finally onto a whole separate staircase from the one they normally used. He was taken all the way up to the first floor by his “date” until they reached a back room that had a door to the outside, a door that lead into rickety looking metal stairs, that then extended onto the roof of the building.

“How the fuck do you know about this?”

“My dad teaches here,” the boy explained “so sometimes I stay with him until he leaves, you get a lot of time to explore when your dad is in meetings all afternoon.”

“Cool”

Reggie walked out onto the small balcony, then climbed up the stairs on all fours like a dog, way too seriously for Will not to laugh at.

“C’mon.” Will laughed at him getting up and reaching his hand out “It’s not funny, c’mon.”

He took his hand and walked slowly up the stairs, trying not to look down at the three (or four, he didn’t know what counted up there) floors he could very easily fall down.

“Why are we here exactly?” Reggie reaches into his pockets and pulled out a plastic bag and shakes it “That doesn’t answer my question.” He reaches into the bag and pull out a blunt “Oh-“

“Are you ready to have some fun William?

* * *

Will had been on the roof for a long time, the longer they stayed the more cares started pulling out of the parking lot, slowly making it empty by the time him and Reggie were actually having fun.

He had never smoked before, he decided to avoid saying this to Reggie at all, he didn’t feel like getting made fun of on the roof, there was nowhere to hide from it. He eventually had to say it once Reggie saw him almost cough out a lung and, surprisingly, he was sweet about it. He helped him though it and he was grateful.

By the end of the night they ended up sitting next to eachother, feet dangling from the edge in a fashion that sober Will would not approve of. High Will really liked Reggie, he was tall, he was kind of funny, funnier after you smoke, but still funny, his eyes were comically enlarged by his thick glasses in a way that was cute enough and Will had to admit, he was kind of into the Hawaiian shirt thing. He looked like Mike, Will knew that was why he cared for Reggie at all, he should feel bad but a part of him didn’t. This was his only chance.

His hand was cold, skin dry from the horrible weather, as he reached up to the other boy’s face, slowly sliding his glasses down his nose bridge revealing eyes much smaller than he had pictured in his head.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

“Just go with it.”

He carefully took off the glasses and placed them on top of the plastic bag they left laying around. He could see it now. Mike. A little chubbier but it could pass off as Mike if he squinted. And if Reggie stopped squinting trying to see without his glasses. High Will was stupidly brave apparently, so he took a leap of faith.

“Kiss me.”

Confusion spread across Reggie’s face, but it wasn’t disgust so Will still had hope. A whisper came.

“Ok”

The boy leaned down and kissed him. Their lips clashed together in an inexperienced delight. Will didn’t really know what was happened, but he followed the flow, his hands reaching up into the boy’s hair, getting twisted up into his unbrushed curls. It was over as soon as it started, it was way too short.

Their foreheads touched, Reggie finally opening his eyes to look at him again and Will couldn’t help but bring him closer again, kissing him deeper.

They stayed like this, kissing and hugging like two idiots, laughing. Until the rain started. Will left that day feeling conflicted. He finally got it, he finally got a kissed. But this kiss also signified how he would never get to be this close to what he truly wanted. This was the closest he would get to Mike Wheeler.


	5. Lucas- warmth and home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas comes to Will with a mission and El is a sleepy girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii im back. not much happens but next chapter won't take long :)

It was summer of senior year, June, after barely passing grades he managed to graduate. He couldn’t make it to college, he didn’t have the money, didn’t have the grades and quite frankly he didn’t have the mental state to leave again.

Two weeks after graduation there was an unexpected knock at their door. His mother was out for the day, having gone out during her Saturday off of work and Jonathan was away at his job, probably both not coming back until 6 or 7, way later in the day. El was still sleeping, tired after a night out with Will and Reggie. She slept far into the afternoon when they went out, but Will usually didn’t, most times he barely slept .Him and Reg (fun nickname the other boy practically forced him to use, since he loved calling Will all types of stupid things), they never brought up the kiss. Reggie had only done it once, excusing it away by saying he gets _touchy_ when he’s high.

It happened at around 11, he knew that because he looked at the wall clock when he heard it, confused at if there was something wrong with it, or if something happened that made him mom come back earlier than expected. Will had woken up at 10, he set an alarm the previous night, wanting to have enough time to take a shower for the first time in maybe five days, and then cook himself lunch. He ended up not doing that all, he got distracted listening to music and looking through recipes he cut out of his mother’s magazines to figure out what he could eat for lunch.

He was sitting on the counter, still in his pyjamas, playing with the drawers that sat underneath of his favourite morning spot, pulling them open with his feet, fiddling with the handles as he went through the small, messily cut pieces of paper with one hand and smoked a cigarette with the other. The days all blended together and dragged out forever, he couldn’t tell if he had done this five times or ten in the last fourteen days and honestly, he didn’t care much.

Then there was a knock. A break from the script.

“Just a second!” he jumped from the counter and threw his recipes on the kitchen table, dropping his cigarette in the process “Shit.” He mumbled to himself, picking it up off the floor and leaving it in a pink ashtray he made himself out of 1-dollar clay in one very boring afternoon.

Will walked up to the front door and pulled it open, hearing the usual creek of the rotting wood. He came face to face with a smiling Lucas Sinclair.

“Hey!” Will was practically frozen in place watching Lucas taking his jacket and pushing past him into the house.

He reached his hand out, but Will didn’t move, he just stared down at it, wondering if this was even actually happening or if he had somehow slept past his alarm and was stuck in a dream

“Lucas?” the boy’s smile grew, he pulled him into a tight hug, squeezing him impossibly close, having to bend down, having grown taller than Will since they’d last seen eachother. “Why are you here?”

“Well.” letting go of the hug he rested his hands on Will’s shoulders, his hands warming him through the way too thin fabric of his pyjama shirt and dramatically whispering “I missed you.”

That made Will laughed. He missed laughing with Lucas. They moved their chat further into the house, passing through the kitchen, horribly cluttered since Will and El became responsible for cleaning it, where he retrieved his cigarette and moving into the house’s extremely out of fashion living room, with its horribly drab patterned brown couches and dust covered dusk covered shelfs. He sat in the smaller of the two couches like a small child, pulling his knees up to his chest, not bothering to sit properly, Lucas wouldn’t care.

“I know you missed me, I missed you too, but why now?”

“I called last week, your mom answered, she told me you and El couldn’t come again this year and I just had to take matters into my own hands.” Lucas seemed to notice his continued confusion and continued “You can stay at my house.”

He couldn’t put into words what the sentence did to his poor little heart, but he could try.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother your parents, they already have enough going on with you and Erica.”

Lucas shook his head aggressively, as if Will had just insulted him for even implying that he shouldn’t have come.

“Thank you so much Lucas, I really need this.”

Reaching out to grab the other boy’s arm he suddenly remembered the fact that besides not showering or really doing anything, he had also taken to not cleaning his room. His mother hadn’t been inside it since the middle of May, he usually locked in from the inside when he was home and locked it from the outside He was ashamed that he let it get that far but there wasn’t much he could do about it in the moment.

“We’re supposed to leave right after lunch, so we don’t get there way too late. Maybe I should help you pack then we could go out for McDonalds or something. Is El asleep?”

He almost winced at the mention of Lucas walking into his bedroom but managed to nod an answer.

“What? What’s wrong?”

He mumbled out what could pass as a reply, pulling Luca’s through the house, it’s stupidly confusing layout making it was longer of a walk than he wished it was and finally making it to his bedroom room. Maybe that’s what you get for buying the cheapest house in an already inexpensive neighbourhood, an absolutely horrible layout.

He pulled his key from his pockets, awkwardly fumbling with trying to get it in the lock, having to switch keys and turn them upset down many many times before getting it right. Lucas stood behind him looking curiously at the boy, probably wondering why he seemed so stressed about such a normal everyday thing.

The door screeched open with a horrible noise, wood rubbing against the floor in a frankly sickening way that made Will sick every single time it happened, revealing his cramped little room. The walls were painted was a bright red Will despised but never got around to painting over because of his debilitating laziness, they were covered in various movie posters, including the Evil Dead one he stole from Jonathan when they moved and a few extra nerdy ones, he had a small dark wood dresser that clashed strongly with the other types of wood in his room, none of them ever matching or getting close to it, on top of it were a few plastic bottles and two open beers he never finished sitting behind a picture frame like they were a dirty little secret. There were worn clothes mindlessly thrown all over the room and his blue sheets were blinding in the midst of the warm tones of the rest of the room, being constantly on show since he never made his bed. Plastic wrappers were scattered all over the dust covered shelfs and a few other alcohol bottles sat underneath the desk, having been brough over by Reggie once and never having left this small square footage of his room. 

Strong, toned arms wrapped around his torso and the feeling of warmth took over his body again. Lucas rested his chin on his shoulder and whispered “I think I’m gonna go wake up El.”fd

“Yeah, okay.”

Lucas started to pull away from the embrace but then, as if he has remembered something, he got closer again and landed a kiss on the other boy’s cheek.


End file.
